“Polly, did you hear the latest gossip?” asked Easygoing Manager excitedly as I walked back to my desk after lunch.

Easygoing Manager is in his thirties. He looks the part of the most accomplished Rugby Union fullback, battle scars and all. But when it comes to office gossip, it is a sin to be left out of the loop, even if one is purposely built for a rugby scrum.

I, too, was all ears.

“Pommy Dude is going out with Half Pint Hottie! They just started going out this week!” he said with a distinguished enthusiasm that would make Mary Hart of Entertainment Tonight proud.

Oh, my poor poor heart! Pommy Dude! And Half Pint Hottie!

I kept my composure and listened to the romantic entanglements of the office’s very own Posh and Becks.

“You haven’t heard? Pull up a chair, Polly,” Easygoing Manager started. “I had a feeling that Half Pint Hottie was keen on Pommy Dude. Remember the time we played soccer with them? She was in a mini skirt doing scissor kicks whenever he got the ball. You just have a gut feeling when something like that happens.”

This little cheerleading act obviously escaped my attention. All I remember from that day was the flying goal I scored past Pommy Dude’s (incompetent) hands.

“Anyway, that’s not the whole story,” Easygoing Manager continued. “You see, they were both with other partners not long ago. Half Pint Hottie was even engaged to be married! I’ve got to call Two-Packs-A-Day to tell him. Wonder if he knows. He sits next to Pommy Dude.”

“Two-Packs! Did you hear the latest?” he began again. “No. No. Not about the share offer. About Pommy Dude…no no, he’s not getting deported! He’s going out with Half Pint Hottie…well apparently he broke up with her a week ago…yes quick mover…I know…I know…Glad I found out early, I was going to ask her how the wedding plans were coming along at the next meeting...Mate, that would’ve been a total cock up, eh?”

He worked the phone for the rest of the afternoon, and by five o’clock, the news had travelled through the entire central nervous system of Rather-Large-Bank.