Polly's momma is not unlike Polly. She gets herself into all sorts of mess and hilarity.

Momma likes to haggle. Her philosophy in life is "don't buy if it's not half off". This applies to every store, which makes shopping at some of the more trendy establishments very embarrassing.

Yesterday, momma's haggling ways got her into a spot of bother. She still pretends to be naive, but dear readers, my momma's hot and the world is not innocent.

Just like on any regular afternoon, my momma went shopping, this time for some ugg boots and lanolin moisturiser for a visiting relative. She popped into a new souvenir store that has recently opened nearby, brewing a storm for its unknowing owner. She managed to bring the price of a bottle of lanolin down to two dollars from six.

Never one to miss out on a deal, she proceeded to buy eight dozen bottles. Yes, that's over one hundred bottles of weird sheep's fat for moisturising purposes.

Now, realising that eight dozen bottles is going to be heavy and she is forbidden to drive under any circumstances (another one of her stories, maybe for another time), she asked the store owner to hold the goods until she can get a friend to pick them up.

"Oh, no. That's all right," the store owner said. "I'll drop it off at your place after I close up."

"No, no, that's too much trouble," hot momma coyly said.

"Really no trouble. Just give me your address and phone number and I'll come over after five. "

"Oh, you're too nice," hot momma exclaimed, thinking it can't be true that her daughter claims chivalry to be dead.

"Now, just write down your details here. You can pay me when I've delivered them."